Trying to #figure it out!

Well it’s been awhile as usual.  I mean come on I do have a life.  And, besides I’ve been super busy getting ready for my wedding!!! That’s right…I’m a wife now.  As of May 23rd, I am Mrs. Kim Baggerly.  Fit wife now.  Yes, I’m still going.  I told y’all I wouldn’t be quitting. Daniel is still going too. Lord have mercy he’s one smokin’ husband I tell ya.  I just love that…calling him husband. Seems so formal.  But, really there’s nothing to quit.  This is our life…the way we live.  It’s even more ingrained into our life now than it was a year ago. Even 6 months ago. We like being healthy and we like being strong…together.  Together is better.

Many of you know I am in the middle of a figure prep.  Yes.  I know it’s all about looks and that’s stupid and can be unhealthy and cause me to go into a mental craze.  It did at first.  I promised I would share all the juicy details when I got time.  Well I still don’t really have time, but I felt like writing tonight.  All I can say is at first I loved it then I hated it and now I am starting to love it again.  That’s it in a nutshell.  These past couple months have been the most challenging, yet rewarding that I have ever experienced.  (((Even with regards to the wedding and my personal life…all that stressful wedding planning paid off big time finally!))) But, back to the prep. It has it’s ups and downs.  At points during my prep I could have sworn that I had made the biggest mistake of my life and that I was doing the most unhealthy “healthy” thing I had ever heard of.  I was grumpy, grouchy, starving, tired, mean, and mad for several weeks.  But, coach kept saying “gotta get that fluff off”  so I ran a little more and ate a little less. Well let me tell you there was a lot more fluff than I had imagined…do you know what it’s like to eat the EXACT same foods for over 9 weeks straight without straying or caving??? Well it’s pretty darn boring. At the same time do you know what it feels like to have that kind of self discipline and consistency?? LOVE/HATE I tell ya.  But, guess what…I asked for it.  I asked for every bit of it. And just a little insight…when I got my first refeed after cutting carbs for several weeks and was treated to my first ever 5 guys burger and fries glory hallelujah I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  The next day after having all those carbs I felt like super woman with a shoulder pump that I thought would last for weeks.  Felt on top of the world.  And, getting a glimpse of abs every few days made every last ounce of chicken and brown rice so worth it.  I was literally 3 weeks out from being ready for a show….but what do you know WEDDING TIME!!! I knew I would be getting off track when I started all this and I was okay with that…I was one fit bride though.  Felt good.  And, boy did I strut around in my bikini in Mexico. We drug ourselves to the gym, but I have to say I didn’t give it my all.  Well maybe a day or 2 I did, but not really.  I also ate a lot. A lot of crap. Oops. Off track for nearly 2 weeks…ate everything in sight. The wedding cake was to die for and I never went without a fruity drink in my hand all 7 days.  I was happy.  I may or may not would have given my big toe for my abs to come back, but I was still genuinely happy. I’m telling you there really is nothing like wedded bliss. Whew weeeee! We got back on a Monday, June 1st and guess who got right back on track on Monday, June 1st.  Ya girl.

Why am I telling you this? Am I bragging? Nope. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand and accept the fact that we all fall off the wagon sometimes.  And, you know what that’s okay. And, it’s okay to still be happy even when you fall off the wagon. I mean that with anything and everything you may be doing with your life.  That won’t be my first time and it surely won’t be my last.   I’m on day number 10 out of the honeymoon (gosh can we go back)  and my abs are slowly coming back.  My shoulders are beginning to cap out again and I went to the gym with my HUSBAND last night and pulled a 225# sumo deadlift for a double.  225# used to be my 1 rep max.  Needless to say I feel back on track and happy and thankful for all of those Mexico carbs. 😀 I never completely lost what I had worked for, but I definitely enjoyed myself the way I should have. And, here’s the kicker…I was never unhappy that whole 2 weeks.  I was never unhappy because I knew in the back of my mind everything was going to be okay in the end of all the craziness because I am in control of my mind and my body. And, I was coming home MARRIED!!!

So here I am…I’ve climbed back on the wagon.  I’m going to finish this prep with everything I have in me and give it all I’ve got.  Is it something I love, no.  Is it something I’ll do again, we’ll see after I step on stage.  I love fitness.  I love being healthy.  I love working out with my husband.  I love hitting PRs.  And, I love feeling good about myself.  Those are things that I love.  I don’t love looking at my body in every single mirror I pass by.  I don’t love examining every new striation on my body. I don’t love measuring myself once a week. Those are the things I shall continue to work on.  But, when I set my mind to something you can bet your ace I will finish it no matter what.  So, here’s to the next several weeks and seeing what August brings.

All the while Daniel is working his magic to convert me to a full blown powerlifter…now that’s a thought, too! 😉

I’ll be filling y’all in again.  I will.




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